Datingcoachformen net rowvalidating event
It’s about controlling what you think, it’s about not getting carried away – thinking she’s a 10. If you see a beautiful woman in the street, and you say to yourself ‘Wow, that’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,’ you’re putting way too much pressure on yourself. The thing is, and I talk about this a lot, we all have a preconceived idea about people who we meet.
So if you meet a girl who, for instance, is wearing a very provocative outfit – you’re going to presume she’s not very intelligent…and it’s wrong but it is going to be a reaction.
I’m good at telling them, ‘look this is what you do when you’re on the date’. I know a lot of guys who get on very well with women, they’re naturals.
You’ve got to be a full three-dimensional person…and when you meet somebody that’s when you see the real person. They’re eccentric, they’re a bit odd…they wear eccentric things. They don’t give two figs what anyone says, and that’s very attractive to a woman.
The second thing I noticed was there was no honest female advice. They were just saying things they thought the guys wanted them to hear.
I just thought: these guys are not getting their £600, or whatever it was, worth – to hear that generic BS advice.
Now you may say that’s antiquated, or even prehistoric. What’s very important, and I don’t give two hoots what any feminist has to say – because if she disagrees with this, she’s a liar – a woman has to respect a man before she can be attracted to him. A man can be attracted to a woman and not respect her. She can’t be attracted to him before she has a level of respect for him. Approach anxiety is very much due to what we call ‘outcome dependency’.
What that means is, you see the girl and you think: ‘Okay, I want to get her number, I want to sleep with her…’ I mean if you make that decision, if you’re a guy with ‘a plan’ it sounds very Alpha – but you’re actually putting a lot of pressure on yourself. If, for instance, you look at a girl and say…’okay, she’s a six until she proves otherwise to me.
Until she proves she’s got the qualities that mean most to me, all women are a six…if you really believe it, it can definitely translate through your body language.
I’ve done a book ‘Online Dating Success for Men’ and that’s my second-best selling product.
Which I think is indicative of the fact that guys are just not getting the results they want from online dating.