Random chat sex oriented
Like the LW, I have significant pain problems and a noticeably scarred and disfigured left arm and leg due to an accident.
I also struggled for years with the depression of my limitations, which included going from a fairly active lifestyle to a rather sedentary one.
I don’t sleep around, and I don’t want to be someone who does. But I’m in constant pain, and not just physically but emotionally too. I’m so lonely, and I want to feel good for a little while.
For goodness’ sake I haven’t had sex in four years, one month, and one day! I thought I was good at hiding my depression until someone said my pain is written all over my face, which made me even more self-conscious. of me into some Spanx and a dress, but I can’t make myself attractive, and I don’t know if someone will be interested in me.
A few years ago I had lunch with another psychiatrist-in-training and realized we had totally different experiences with psychotherapy. As per the textbooks, there should be a climactic moment where the patient identifies me with their father, then screams at me that I ruined their childhood, then breaks down crying and realizes that she loved her father all along, then ??? ” or “Maybe you feel like screaming at me right now? So I figured the textbooks were misleading, or that this was some kind of super-advanced technique, or that this was among the approximately 100% of things that Freud just pulled out of his ass.
Unfortunately, he was not the person I thought he was, and I ended the relationship. I’m self-conscious about my weight, how I look, scars I got from surgery, and the fact that I’m disabled.I just want to be with someone who wants to be with me, even if it’s for a little while. Or should I stick to my morals and resign myself to spinsterhood and eventual frigidity? I’ve known plenty of women who weigh more than that and are gorgeous), and whatever else you think makes you unattractive.And I’m hoping that, since it’s in another state, I might never have to see the person again so I don’t have to feel so guilty, or have the people from my home state judge me. Forget what you look like and think about what you SOUND like.In nine paragraphs you go on and on and on about what a miserable person you are and how much contempt you have for anyone who doesn’t share your moral superiority, which I can assure you does little to endear you to potential friends (platonic or otherwise).But even if you had friends — even if you hooked up with someone at your convention to momentarily ease the crippling loneliness you live beneath, you’d never stop feeling lonely. Because no relationship — sexual, romantic, platonic — will relieve your loneliness, even momentarily, because it’s not so much a lack of company making you feel lonely, it’s your company.